150+ Hilarious Big Nose Jokes That Are Nothing to Sneeze At

Let’s be honest—nose jokes have been around since the dawn of time, perhaps because they’re right there in the middle of everyone’s face! Whether you’re trying to add some light banter to your group chat, need the perfect comeback, or just want to read through some genuinely humorous material, you’ve landed at the ideal area.

I remember my uncle often making jokes about his own “significant schnoz,” and honestly, his confidence made every joke ten times better. The reality is, when done well, big nose humor is all about wit, wordplay, and that perfect balance of cheeky without being cruel.

So grab your Kleenex (you might laugh-cry), and let’s dive nose-first into this collection of comic treasure!

Big Nose Jokes for Adults

1. “His nose is so big, it has its own area code and better cell reception than I do.”
2. “I’d make a joke about your nose, but I’m afraid it might take up too much space in the conversation.”
3. “That nose is so prominent, it enters rooms five minutes before the rest of you does.”
4. “Your nose is like a conversation starter—literally impossible to ignore and always making an entrance.”
5. “I’ve seen smaller ski slopes than the bridge of that nose.”
6. “That schnoz is so big, it probably needs its own passport photo.”
7. “Your nose doesn’t just smell trouble—it can see it coming from three counties away.”
8. “I’d say your nose is growing, but Pinocchio called and wants his gimmick back.”
9. “That nose is so impressive, birds use it as a landmark during migration season.”
10. “You could use that nose as a sundial and still have room for a small garden.”
11. “Your profile picture isn’t loading properly—oh wait, that’s just your nose taking up the whole frame.”
12. “That nose has more square footage than my first apartment.”
13. “I bet you save money on doorbell cameras—that nose can see around corners.”
14. “Your nose is so distinguished, it probably has its own LinkedIn profile.”
15. “That’s not a nose, that’s a destination point on Google Maps.”
16. “You must have incredible balance with that counterweight right in the middle of your face.”
17. “Your nose is like a wine connoisseur—refined, bold, and impossible to miss.”
18. “That schnoz is so aerodynamic, you must save a fortune on gas when driving.”
19. “I’d tell you to follow your nose, but honestly, we’re all just following yours.”
20. “Your nose has such a strong presence, it could probably run for office.”
21. “That’s not just a nose—it’s a facial landmark with historical significance.”
22. “You never need a coat hook; you’ve got that nose to hang things on.”
23. “Your nose is so impressive, it casts a shadow that has its own weather system.”
24. “I bet you can smell what’s cooking three neighborhoods over with that detector.”
25. “That nose has more character development than most Netflix series.”

Dirty Big Nose Jokes

1. “With a nose that big, you could probably smell what someone’s thinking about tonight.”
2. “They say big noses mean big… personalities, and yours is definitely showing.”
3. “Your nose is so long, it probably gets there before you do—in every situation.”
4. “I bet that nose knows exactly where all the action is before anyone else does.”
5. “With that schnoz, you’re probably the first to know when things are about to get steamy.”
6. “That nose could sniff out a good time from miles away—literally.”
7. “You don’t need dating apps; that nose can detect chemistry from across the room.”
8. “I’d make a Pinocchio joke, but we both know what you’ve been lying about.”
9. “That nose is so sensitive, it probably picks up on pheromones from the next town over.”
10. “Big nose energy is real, and you’re absolutely radiating it right now.”
11. “Your nose walks into a bar first and orders for the rest of you.”
12. “That schnoz must have excellent intuition—it always knows which way to point.”
13. “With a nose like that, you never miss the scent of opportunity… or perfume.”
14. “I bet that nose has gotten you into—and out of—some interesting situations.”
15. “Your nose is so perceptive, it probably knew I was going to make this joke before I did.”
16. “They say follow your nose, but yours seems to have its own agenda entirely.”
17. “That nose doesn’t just smell roses—it knows which garden they came from and who sent them.”
18. “With that detector on your face, you could moonlight as a truffle-hunting expert.”
19. “Your nose has more game than most people’s entire personality.”
20. “That schnoz is so expressive, it does the talking before your mouth even opens.”

Big Nose Jokes Dark

1. “Your nose is so big, it could eclipse the sun and cause a natural disaster.”
2. “That nose casts shadows so dark, people bring flashlights when you turn sideways.”
3. “I’ve seen horror movie villains with less intimidating profiles than that.”
4. “Your nose is like a solar eclipse—we all know not to stare directly at it.”
5. “That schnoz could be used as a weapon in hand-to-hand combat.”
6. “Your nose enters the room like a villain in a thriller—commanding and slightly ominous.”
7. “That nose has blocked more light than blackout curtains ever could.”
8. “I’d hate to be on the receiving end of that nose in an argument—it’s got reach.”
9. “Your nose is so massive, small aircraft have to navigate around it.”
10. “That profile could be used in a police lineup and solve crimes just by intimidation.”
11. “Your nose doesn’t break the ice—it shatters it completely.”
12. “That schnoz has more presence than most people’s entire existence.”
13. “I bet your nose has its own gravitational pull that affects nearby objects.”
14. “That nose could be classified as a natural disaster in seventeen states.”
15. “Your profile picture should come with a warning label for sharp edges.”
16. “That nose has ended more conversations than awkward silences.”
17. “I’ve seen battering rams with less impact than that schnoz.”
18. “Your nose doesn’t just break stereotypes—it demolishes them.”
19. “That’s not a nose, that’s a facial feature with aggressive intentions.”
20. “Your nose could win a staring contest without even trying—it’s that powerful.”

Big Nose Jokes Dirty for Adults

1. “With a nose that big, you must know exactly what everyone had for breakfast… and dessert.”
2. “That schnoz could sniff out a lie, a cheat, and what you really did last weekend.”
3. “Your nose is so perceptive, it probably knows secrets before people confess them.”
4. “I bet that nose has helped you dodge more bad situations than good sense ever could.”
5. “With that detector, you probably know who’s getting lucky before they do.”
6. “Your nose is like a truth serum—nothing gets past that thing.”
7. “That schnoz knows when someone’s been naughty, and it’s definitely keeping receipts.”
8. “Your nose could work for the FBI with that level of detection capability.”
9. “I bet that nose can smell tension, attraction, and regret all at once.”
10. “With that radar on your face, you’re basically a walking lie detector test.”
11. “Your nose knows what you’re thinking about, and it’s probably judging you for it.”
12. “That schnoz has picked up on more signals than a radio tower.”
13. “Your nose doesn’t just smell trouble—it writes a full report about it.”
14. “With that thing, you probably know who’s fighting before the argument even starts.”
15. “That nose has more game than a casino and better odds too.”
16. “Your schnoz could detect chemistry in a sterile laboratory.”
17. “I bet that nose has saved you from more bad dates than good judgment.”
18. “Your nose is like having ESP, except it’s actually just ESP: Extra Smelling Power.”
19. “That detector on your face probably knows what I’m about to say next.”
20. “With a nose like that, you’re basically a superhero—Captain Obvious’s smarter cousin.”

Big Nose Jokes One Liners

1. “Your nose called—it wants its own zip code.”
2. “That’s not a nose, that’s a tourist attraction.”
3. “NASA called—they want to use your nose as a landing strip.”
4. “Your nose has better GPS than my phone.”
5. “I’d shake your nose’s hand, but I can’t reach around it.”
6. “That nose doesn’t lie—it’s just too big to hide the truth.”
7. “Your schnoz has more followers than my Instagram.”
8. “That nose could win an award for Best Supporting Facial Feature.”
9. “You don’t need a doorbell—your nose knocks for you.”
10. “Your nose is proof that evolution sometimes gets creative.”
11. “That schnoz has more personality than most reality TV stars.”
12. “Your nose doesn’t just smell—it experiences aromas in 4D.”
13. “I’d tell you to keep your nose clean, but that’s a full-time job.”
14. “That nose has main character energy and everyone else is just background.”
15. “Your schnoz could double as a bookmark in hardcover books.”
16. “That nose doesn’t break—it breaks things.”
17. “You’ve got a nose for news and a face for radio.”
18. “Your nose is so big, it has its own fan club.”
19. “That schnoz could plow snow and fields simultaneously.”
20. “Your nose doesn’t need introduction—it introduces you.”
21. “That’s not a nose—it’s a statement piece.”
22. “Your schnoz has more range than most actors.”
23. “That nose could be a professional pointer in presentations.”
24. “You’ve got the nose of a detective and the face of someone who knows it.”
25. “That schnoz is so legendary, archaeologists will study it someday.”

Big Nose Jokes Memes

1. “When your nose loads before the rest of your profile picture: buffering gif“
2. “POV: Your nose enters the Zoom call before you do.”
3. “That nose said ‘I’m not like other facial features—I’m different.'”
4. “Me: trying to take a subtle selfie. My nose: ‘Allow me to introduce myself.'”
5. “When someone says ‘follow your nose’ but yours is already three blocks ahead.”
6. “Your nose: the main character. Everything else: supporting cast.”
7. “That nose really said ‘I’m gonna make this everyone’s problem.'”
8. “When your nose has more screen time than the actual actor.”
9. “Nose: enters room. Everyone: ‘We weren’t expecting company.'”
10. “That schnoz has ‘pick me’ energy but actually gets picked.”
11. “When your nose casts a shadow with its own shadow: inception music plays“
12. “Your nose said ‘go big or go home’ and chose violence.”
13. “POV: You’re the nose trying to fit in a selfie frame.”
14. “That nose has ‘I know what I’m about’ energy.”
15. “When your nose enters before you and ruins the surprise party.”
16. “Your nose: exists. Doorways: ‘Am I a joke to you?'”
17. “That schnoz said ‘personal space’ is a myth and proved it.”
18. “When your nose has better angles than a geometry textbook.”
19. “Your nose really said ‘I’m not just a phase, I’m a lifestyle.'”
20. “POV: Your nose photobombing every single picture since forever.”
21. “That nose has ‘built different’ energy and everyone knows it.”
22. “When your nose’s shadow shows up to the party uninvited.”
23. “Your schnoz said ‘subtle’ isn’t in its vocabulary and meant it.”
24. “That nose has more presence than most people at family reunions.”
25. “When your nose trends on Twitter before you even tweet: shocked Pikachu face“

Final Thoughts

And there you have it—150+ huge nose jokes that vary from playfully humorous to extremely vicious! Whether you’re roasting a friend (with love, of course), seeking for the perfect Instagram caption, or just needed a good laugh today, these jokes highlight that humor is all about perspective and timing.

The best part about nose jokes? They’re ubiquitous, harmless when delivered appropriately, and honestly, they never grow old. Remember, confidence is the best item anyone can wear, and if you can laugh at yourself, you’re already winning at life. So go ahead, share these with your big-nosed buddies, post your fave as a caption, or store them in your back pocket for the right humorous occasion.

Just remember: constantly punch up with your comedy, keep it light, and may your jokes always land better than a nose-dive! Now get out there and share some laughter—your sense of humor is plainly as huge as… well, you know!