Ever encountered someone who cancels plans faster than a hermit crab swaps shells? Yeah, me too—and honestly, sometimes that person is me.
There’s something curiously sympathetic about hermits, whether they’re the crusty crabs seeking new homes or just us humans who’d rather remain home with munchies than venture into the wild world of small conversation.
I’ve always had a soft spot for hermit humor because it perfectly captures that great balance between liking your alone time and still wanting to crack a nice joke.
So grab your favorite comfy blanket, relax into your shell (or couch), and let’s delve into a treasure trove of hermit puns that are so amazing, you might really text them to your friends—before quickly going back into hiding, of course.
Hermit Crab Puns
These claw-some puns about our favorite shell-swapping sidekicks will have you snapping with laughter!
- I’m not antisocial, I’m just a little crabby about leaving my shell
- Hermit crabs never get evicted—they just find a better shell-ter
- My hermit crab has serious real estate goals, always house hunting
- What’s a hermit crab’s favorite movie? The Shell-shank Redemption
- Hermit crabs are the original tiny house movement enthusiasts
- I asked my hermit crab about his home—he said it’s his shell-fie palace
- Hermit crabs don’t ghost you, they just retreat into their shell
- My crab’s motto: Keep calm and crab on
- Hermit crabs invented social distancing before it was cool
- When life gets tough, just pull a hermit crab and change your shell
- My hermit crab refuses to come out—he’s having a shell of a time in there
- Hermit crabs are proof that carrying your home around is totally claw-some
- What did the hermit crab say at the party? “This is un-shell-ievable!”
- My crab started a blog called “Diary of a Shell-Shocked Introvert”
- Hermit crabs: the only creatures who take “home is where the heart is” literally
- Why did the hermit crab join social media? To shell-out some hot takes
- My hermit crab is so picky, he’s basically the Gordon Ramsay of shells
- Hermit crabs prove that downsizing your life can be pretty crab-ulous
- What’s a hermit crab’s favorite band? The Shells Pistols
- I’m not hiding, I’m just channeling my inner hermit crab energy
- Hermit crabs: introverts with exoskeletons
- My crab says he’s not lazy, he’s energy efficient with his social battery
- What do you call a hermit crab comedian? Shell-arious
- Hermit crabs are living their best shell-tered life
- My hermit crab’s Instagram bio: “Just a crab trying to find the perfect shell”
Hermit Puns One Liners
Quick-witted zingers for when you need a hermit joke faster than you can cancel plans!
- I’m not a hermit, I’m just in a long-term relationship with my couch
- Hermits don’t have commitment issues, just commitment to solitude
- My idea of networking is connecting to Wi-Fi
- I put the “no” in “social”
- Hermit mode: activated, deactivation date: TBD
- I’m outdoorsy in that I like drinking on patios
- My safe word is “people”
- Hermits unite! Separately, in your own homes
- I’m not avoiding you, I’m just practicing selective socializing
- Why go out when you can stay in and avoid disappointment?
- I have a lot of get-up-and-go, but it all got up and went
- Hermit life: where “maybe next time” really means “probably never”
- I’m not antisocial, I’m selectively social with my books
- My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside
- Hermits: making “I don’t want to” an art form since forever
- I’m bilingual: I speak English and cancel plans fluently
- My spirit animal is a hermit crab in a really nice shell
- Extrovert: Let’s hang out! Me: Let’s hang on, I need 5-7 business days to recover
- I don’t need therapy, I need everyone to leave me alone
- Hermit tip: Can’t be disappointed by people if you never see them
- My New Year’s resolution is to be more hermit-like
- I’m not hiding from responsibilities, I’m just in stealth mode
- Hermits get it—sometimes the best company is your own
- Why be a social butterfly when you can be a social hermit crab?
- I came, I saw, I made it awkward, and then I became a hermit
Cute Hermit Puns
Adorably wholesome wordplay that proves hermits can be heartwarming too!
- You’re shell-tacular just the way you are
- Home is where the hermit is
- Let’s be hermits together—separately
- You make my shell feel like home
- I’m crabby about you in the cutest way
- Shell yeah, you’re amazing!
- You’re one in a shell-ion
- Let’s stay in and be hermits—it’s a date
- You’re my favorite reason to leave my shell
- Sending you shell-loads of love
- You’re the only person I’d un-hermit for
- My hermit heart has room for you
- Let’s build a cozy shell-ter together
- You’re worth coming out of my shell for
- I’m totally shell-fish when it comes to spending time with you
- You’re my happy shell-ter from the world
- Let’s be hermit buddies forever
- You understand my need for shell-titude
- I’d share my shell with you any day
- You’re un-shell-ievably wonderful
- My shell feels warmer when you’re around
- You’re the pearl in my hermit shell
- Let’s cancel plans together and make it romantic
- You get me—shells, solitude, and all
- You’re my favorite co-hermit in this crazy world
Hermit Puns Reddit
Internet-approved puns that would definitely get upvotes in r/hermitjokes!
- Username: HermitMode_Activated, status: permanently online, permanently indoors
- TIL hermits invented “working from home” centuries ago
- AITA for wanting to live like a hermit? Spoiler: No, you’re living your best life
- Hermit life pro tip: If you never leave, you never have to come back
- Change my view: Being a hermit is peak self-care
- My therapist told me to get out more. I got a longer HDMI cable
- ELI5: Why do people like going outside? Still waiting for a good answer
- LPT: Become a hermit, save money on gas, never regret it
- Unpopular opinion: Hermits have it all figured out
- Today I didn’t leave my house. AMA
- Me_irl: “Want to hang out?” “I’m busy.” Busy doing what? “Being a hermit.”
- Shower thought: What if hermit crabs are just introverts who found the perfect housing market?
- TIFU by leaving my house. Never again
- The hermit lifestyle: It’s not a phase, Mom, it’s who I am
- Hermit goals: Level up your solitude game daily
- Someone said I should “touch grass.” I have a houseplant, that counts, right?
- Reddit: Come for the memes, stay because you’re a hermit anyway
- PSA: Being a hermit doesn’t mean you’re antisocial, you’re just selectively social
- My house is my castle, and I’m the hermit king/queen
- Who needs a social life when you have fast internet and snacks?
- Plot twist: The real treasure was the solitude we found along the way
- Hermit hack: Block your calendar with “me time” for the next decade
- Can confirm: Hermit life has zero drama and maximum comfort
- Just hermit things: Talking to your pet like they’re your therapist
- Breaking: Local hermit hasn’t left house in weeks, reports feeling fantastic
Hermit Puns Captions
Perfect captions for your Instagram when you’re documenting your indoor adventures!
- Shell-abrating another successful day of doing absolutely nothing
- Current mood: Hermit with a side of cozy
- Living that shell-tered life and loving every minute
- Not all who wander are lost; some of us just stay home
- Hermit mode: Because people are exhausting
- My shell, my rules, my sanctuary
- Sorry, can’t. I’m booked solid with hermit activities
- Pro hermit, amateur human
- Today’s forecast: 100% chance of staying in my shell
- Introverted and proud—catch me never going out
- My happy place is anywhere people aren’t
- Shell we stay in? Yes, always yes
- Channeling my inner hermit crab energy today
- Warning: Hermit crossing, approach with snacks and respect
- No plans, no pants, no problem
- Living my best hermit life, one cancelled plan at a time
- If you need me, I’ll be in my shell avoiding responsibilities
- Hermit vibes only—sorry, not sorry
- My idea of adventure is trying a new spot on the couch
- Staying in is the new going out
- Home is where I can be the hermit I was meant to be
- Too blessed to be stressed, too hermit to be bothered
- My comfort zone is called “home” and I’m never leaving
- Happiness is a quiet room and zero obligations
- Shell yeah, I’m staying in tonight!
Final Thoughts
And there you have it—a selection of hermit jokes that prove you don’t need to leave your warm cave to have a good time! Whether you’re texting them to your fellow homebodies, using them as captions for your next “canceling plans” post, or just reading them while wrapped in your favorite blanket burrito, I hope these puns bring a smile to your face.
Remember, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with embracing your inner hermit—the world may be tiresome, and often the finest adventures come within the four walls of your comfort zone.
So go ahead, share these puns with your buddies (from the safety of your phone, of course), and keep living that gloriously hermit-icious existence.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a very important meeting with my couch and a wonderful book. Shall we meet again? Maybe… from a distance!